For DIDI....

I thought for a long time but I wasnt able to decide a string to start with. DIDI, I just want you to know that I love you the most and no matter how things are or turn out to be, You will always be adored by me the most. These two years, what to say...well, I believe were the most special years of my life...and the one who made it so special is You. I still remember the very first time you came to meet me here, it was the 10th of June 2006 if I am not wrong. I had many things in mind which I wanted to do, but sometimes, things dont turn out your way. You do things thinking that they will do good, but sometimes, its those actions which destroy everything. Be it my wannabe character or be it the different set of priorities, all added up to erode my image more and more. I just wanted to cultivate an understanding, that was my first and only priority and I thought two years were enough. But when the period came to an end, I found nothing to be on the right track. It was even worse. Sometimes, it just takes some days for a bond to build up. But when you keep trying and still fail, you must understand that things are going the wrong way, my mistake, I realised it lately. I only had one thing in mind for the last few days, I desperately wanted things to be right, I wanted to bridge those gaps. I was a stubborn. That was the reason of my elongated stay. But again I was wrong, the elongation of stay made it even more complicated. I tried all the things I could to bring a little happiness to You, but I failed again. I still dont understand why the environment turns lull when we are together. A tension persists everywhere, maybe I will understand it one day. I always thought that I was selfless, perhaps I was not, I had an expectation...I always wanted to change the way things are and I still believe they should be changed. Doing things with an expectation, that is what one shouldnt. I always wanted to see You scolding me, I always wanted You to care, I always wanted You to spend more and more time, I always wanted You to share those small happy moments, I always wanted to get free with you so that I can just speak anything. But well even you know how it is like, I cannot say, DIDI I need You to comfort me, I need to sit next to You for sometime, DIDI, please give me a hug. This is perhaps the reason why I write things to you instead of talking. I dont want anyone to be with me, I want no ones support, but without You I just cannot do anything. I am still, I know You could feel it, down, I desperately want your shoulder to cry. But again I know I need to compose it. Leaving Hyderabad in this situation was the last thing I could think of. I know things might seem to be right after I leave(I mean our relationship) but then you never know, because after this day, even if we meet or talk, it wont be for a long time, so even if things are not right, we can potray it to be. As you said that day, We will be in our own ways which probably will never meet, no one will care. So it will be like..hey how r things? fine...n stuff...it wont be anything more than that...but I will always want it to be more than that. This would only have been possible during my stay, after it, you wont even think about it..as I said...the lack of bond. Today I woke up at 7, I just kept staring at the sky, tried to recollect all those moments which made me happy with my two days hungry stomach. Everything just popped in, the day we went for a drive near necklace road, then didnt get tickets for corporate, the other day, I came home when you used to stay at Karkhana, the first day...we went to Barista. Lovely were those days. And I just cannot put everything here, I dont have that ability to translate things, because these feelings I just cannot explain.

DIDI, Thank you for everything. I am extremely sorry for my mistakes and for the elongation of my stay. I again want to say that I still and will love You the most. I am still desperate to stay for some more days, I really dont want to go, but I know you wont like it.